Who Can Explain the No Electronics Rule

Who Can Explain the No Electronics Rule? 


Certainly not the stewardesses who have no clue at all why it is that in this modern day and age you cannot read an iPad while the seatbelt sign is alight in an aircraft preparing to land and take off.

Yet you can read a book or write notes with a pen onto paper so clearly distraction is not the issue.

Nor is that old humbug that using your device might affect the safe navigation of the aircraft.  iPads like iPhones have safe flight modes and when activated ensure the device does not transmit anything.

No the reason, it seems, stems form rules made way back in the 1960's  when commercial flight was still in it's formative years.  Back them portable tape recorders and wirelesses were the issue.  The microchip had not been invented and solid state was just a designers pipe dream.

Isn't it time then that old fashioned rules were looked at, dusted off and where necessary revised?  It's not as if it has not been done before.  Back in the 1960's you were allowed to carry lighters and matches on board and use them to set fire to cylindrical, paper covered, sticks of tobacco.


Now that was dangerous and flying is definitely better now that smoking has been banned.

The Cantankerous Nomad has strong views on travel but what are yours?

Schipol Airport Fails not once but Twice

I have only been to Schipol Airport four times in the last month so I do not know how often this happens but on the last two occasions when I have been herded ( can you think of a better word?) into the standing room only departure gates in Zone H the emergency exit doors have failed to open when staff have tried to get in or out on th the airport.

Now given that these are emergency exit points and the only other way out is up through a narrow set of stairs leading into the room this strikes me as somewhat dangerous

Remember it is Schipol Airport who claims to be the worlds leading airport and it is the designs and procedures of that airport that others around the world strive to emulate.

God help us!

The Cantankerous Nomad has strong views but what are yours on this subject?

Thank Goodness for the Stewardess

Thank Goodness for the  Stewardess who stands at the top of the aircraft steps to greet you.

There, she imperiously stares at you, demands your boarding pass which was checked no less than a minute ago as you left the terminal building and studies it profoundly.

She then hands it back and tells you you are in seat 11C.


Now that's something I would never have known had she not provided me with the information!

After all it was me who booked in and printed out my own boarding pass using my own paper which the checker in the terminal had the cheek to tear in half and keep a section.  And it was me who, having printed out that same boarding card, had checked to see where the computer had allocated me a seat.


You know what? I knew I was in seat 11C long before the stewardess did, but of course she has been trained to treat all passengers as imbeciles.

The Cantankerous Nomad has strong views about travel but what are yours?

Pity the Rural Traveller

Pity the rural traveller seeking to travel by train to the big cities.

Penalised by outrageous fares he is forced to consider Cheap Day tickets whose late arrival in the city severely eats into the time he can spend there.

Yet in order to get say the 0847 to London from Spigglegate he has to set off by car from his home and drive the 10 or so miles to arrive at the station way before 0800 simply because he has to secure one of the car parking spots in the station car park.

He queues up to buy his ticket from the only one of four sales windows open at that time of the morning to buy his ticket.

The ticket sales machines flash their lights inviting you to leave the queue and fall for their alluring promise to issue tickets in minutes forgetting always to mention that you have to be under five to grasp the complexities of such complicated menus that issue the most high priced of tickets on purpose.

Then armed with his ticket he approaches the automatic ticket barrier again a device so complicated that the train companies post someone there to help you use it defeating the object of saving staff by embracing automation.

Put the ticket in and bump painfully into the barrier, which has stubbornly refused to open.  Call the spotty youth in the badly fitting train company uniform over to ask what’s wrong.

“Ah!”  He says, “You are too early to use this ticket the barrier will not open until 15 minutes before the train arrives.”

Why is it that rural train stations cannot give over more space to car parks?  Is it because they do not want to make the concept of travelling by rail even slightly less depressing than it already is?

The Dutch Police are like Elephants

The Dutch it seems have a very good memory as I found out the hard way trying to pass through Schipol Airport

It seems that back in October 2007, according to Dutch police, four and a half years ago, I was caught by speed cameras driving a hire car 7 kph (4.3 mph) over the speed limit on my way back to the airport.

In my blissful ignorance I ignored the fine notice, if ever there was one sent to my home address as they are obliged to do.

In March of the following year my name was placed on the naughty boy list held by passport control and immigration

Fast forward to this week when, after umpteen visits to Holland with the last one being last week, I was apprehended as I tried to enter the country.

“Have you been to Holland before sir?” the officer asked. “Yes many times,” I said, “I was here last week,” I added helpfully.

He checked my address and as he did so a policeman appeared at my side.  Finding my name was indeed on the naughty boy list I was taken aside to the counter along with all manner of ner-do-wells including illegal immigrants

Half an hour later and 43 Euros the poorer I was free to go.

Of course given that the supposed incident happened over 4 and half years ago I was in no place to argue and although told I could appeal, the thought of spending all that time on an international telephone call attempting to reclaim my 43 Euros just did not make sense.

No wonder the Dutch do not have a Financial Crisis!

Has this ever happened to you?

The Cantankerous Nomad has strong views about travel do you?

Breeze thru Southamton but not Breeze Back

Breeze thru Southamton is the regional airports favourite slogan.  But if the idea is that the airport promotes the swift transfer for those arriving from abroad, then it needs to think again.

Passengers on all flights arriving fom overseas have to, as one might expect, go through passport control desks manned by the border protection agency.

Southampton airport has however only got three desks for officers to work at and sadly most of the time only two are manned.

Space allocated to this area means that if more than one plane lands one after the other then passengers queue for boarder control outside.  Once inside the sadists make you worm your way thru a maze of cordons until you arrive at the desk where the officer stands.

Flanking the two officers are two other men in suits dressed as the KGB would dress their most deadly of agents.  I have not yet been able to discover their function but they stand there scowling so as to put off any visitor to the country.

Does anyone know why they are there or indeed can anyone shed light on why it is there is so much space in the adjacent baggage hall when there is no space for another passport control desk.

Now I am no expert but why not ask passengers without luggage to go through passport control first so as to get them clear of the airport quickly then bring through those who have baggage to collect.  Chances are they will find their luggage gets into the baggage hall at the same time they do.  That in turn would mean fewer people at the carousels and the chance to use some of that space for another passport control desk..Buts thats far too easy isn't it?

The Cantankerous Nomad has strong views on travel but what are yours?

Make Way! Fat Lady Coming Through

Beep Beep Beep is that annoying sound made by those infuriately wide buggies that patrol the corridors and walkways leading to airport departure gates.

I am hurrying to get to Gate 4,067 at the end of concourse Z, a mile and half away from the departure lounge and already I am breaking out in a sweat.

The departure board at London Godknows Where (LGW) airport had suggested I leave 3 hours to walk to the departure gate and I left things a little late.

I move to let the machine glide by and cannot avoid noticing the lady occupant.  She is enormous!

She regally waves, in one hand a gallon bucket of Starcotas Hot Chocolate Massivario topped with swirls of cream and in the other, a half devoured cinnamon twisted sticky the size of cloths brush.  I cannot make out if she is snarling or smiling at me given that the folds of fat obscure most of her facial features.

I can see however, she is looking at me with the contempt that comes with being one who has been favoured above others.  And well she might be!

She is being chauffeured to the gate in style while we have to walk, simply because she is far too lazy to have done so herself.  What is more, we the rest of the travelling public, are paying for her to do it.

Lets face it, she is fat because she is lazy, too lazy in fact, to get exercise by walking to the departure gate which is one of the reasons I am not too overweight.

The world is pandering to fat people making them even lazier so that in time they will become fatter.

I am not talking disabled here, I am talking fat and that I suppose has become a disability of sorts but one for the most part that has been entered into voluntarily.

So why not make these trolly rides available for everyone or charge fat ladies a fare for travelling in luxury. 

Restoring My Faith in Human Nature

Arriving at the City Hotel in Oss, (the Netherlands) we found the small hotel car park full of cars.  Upon enquiring where we might park our rental car safely the manageress popped her head out of the office and offered to move hers to make way for ours.

That act of kindness to visiting foreigners immediately endeared me to both the hotel and it's staff.

We were shown to our prepaid room booked and paid for by our hosts and upon finding it equipped with two single beds asked if they had a room with a double.

The same kind manageress quickly attacked the reservations computer and announced that yes they had one but it was a suite and considerably more expensive but since it was not booked and we were only staying one night then we could have the use of it without supplement.

That's what I call customer service and that is why I have no reservation in making a recommendation to any one seeking a hotel room in Oss.  Seek out the City Hotel and stay there!

There Are Times When Flying Can Be a Pleasure

Do you remember the time when flying long haul in economy class was not an experience to be forgotten?  Do you remember when all the cabin crew were helpful, polite and friendly?

Remember the hot towel, the printed menu and the little comfort pack with socks, mask, earplugs, a toothbrush and toothpaste.

All gone now, swept away by a brigade of money pinching accountants who think passengers are cattle and should be treated that way. Well not quite! At least not on Oman Air.

We have just flown out and back to Oman with the airline and it was a revelation, a step back in time. The courteous and ever helpful staff are even under 60 and heaven help us, they gave service with a smile!  The seats were comfortable and the legroom adequate. Even the TV screen in the back of the chair in front was big enough to actually enjoy watching the on demand films.

Eat your heart out British Iberia Airways these aircraft have WiFi Internet from Inmarsat and you can use your mobile phones to call home or send text messages.

How very refreshing to learn that there is still one airline who values the custom of the economy class traveller.  There has been so very little in the past to differentiate one airline from another to the point that as travel writers we could not make a recommendation as to who to fly.  Now we are not so sure.

Flying will never be fun in the back of the plane but Oman Air ensure the experience is the best it can be.

What is business and first class is like? Sadly we did not have the chance to find out for ourselves on this trip perhaps next time……..

Am I a Grumpy Old Traveller?

Flying with FlyBe to Amsterdam from Southampton the stewardess politely asked me to switch off my iPad prior to take off.  I, of course, obediently complied.

Why, I asked did some airlines permit the use of iPads before during and after take off and landing while others did?

Her scripted answer quickly followed explaining that reading my iPad might distract me during these potentially dangerous times helpfully adding that it is at these times that most airline accidents happen.

Why then was I allowed to read my newspaper or in flight magazine. 

Her reaction ? Shock, horror! She had not seen that one coming.

Never mind she had a stock answer for that one too explaining quickly  that the use of my iPad might interfere with the aircrafts navigation equipment.

Really?  It did dawn on me however, that a better, more believable response might have been, yes it's a crazy rule but it is one that my bosses insist that I enforce and they have not as yet explained to me why they do that.

I would have believed her, we would have bonded and I might even have bought an overpriced sandwich off her trolly.

We would of course have been by then kindred spirits!

Fortunately Not All Airlines are the Same

Getting to Oman could not be easier flying Oman Air, the only airline to offer daily direct flights from London Heathrow to Muscat

In the last two years, Oman Air has undergone dramatic and highly visible change.  It has been transformed from a small regional carrier into an award-winning international airline, offering the essence of Omani culture and hospitality.

Just two years ago, the airline was a regional Middle East carrier with a fleet of ageing Boeing 737s, a network of just over 20 destinations and a reputation as the poor relation of other Gulf operators. Two years on, the airline has a fleet of Airbus A330 aircraft, a refreshed B737 fleet, an international network of over 40 destinations and a growing reputation as a pioneering carrier.

During my journey, we were able to enjoy the redesigned menus, surprising amounts of legroom and all the latest technology, including mobile phone and Wi-Fi connectivity – a world first.

Believe it or not it is now possible to use the Internet to find out more about your destination - and to book your onward flights - whilst you are flying there.

The introduction of full in-flight connectivity now offers the same range of communications opportunities in the air as we have come to expect on the ground.

The in-flight entertainment system is rather superior offering music, movies, games and live satellite TV. You can also plug your own iPod, iPad, laptop, games console, smart phone or camera into the seatback monitor for a personalised IFE experience that kept everyone entertained for hours.

Birds are not the only things that can tweet in the sky. With Oman Air's inflight connectivity, those members so inclined, kept their followers updated on travel progress.

Oman Air is the only airline to offer daily direct flights from London Heathrow to Muscat, with prices starting from £351 return, including all taxes. Tickets can be booked, online at www.omanair.com and offers online check-in for added convenience.

Death of the Airlines

The future for long haul is looking grim

Airlines, they say, are in financial trouble, people are flying less and aircraft are half empty.  No one, we are told, wants to fly first or business class and unprofitable routes are being scrapped with aircraft laid up.

Do I feel sorry for them?  Do I heck!  In fact I blame the airlines for their own demise.  Without doubt the death of the airline industry is being orchestrated by their own short sighted attitudes and it is that which is responsible for the fact that long haul revenue has dropped off to an all time low.


It has got nothing to do with recession and the reason the moribund carcass of long distance air travel is beginning to decompose, lies firmly in the hands of the airlines marketing men.

Remember when, instead of extolling how cheaply you can buy a return airfare to Kula Lumpa, seats on airliners (now there is a word you seldom see) were sold by advertising how glamorous air hostesses (another lost word) were.


In those days the taste and diversity of menu choice, the quality of on-board wine and the attention cabin crew gave to passengers were all-important.

Those were the days when people did not query the cost of the flight but were allowed to carry more than 23 kilos in their suitcases

Remember when hot towels were handed out before take off and landing, and yet again before passengers began to dine?


Those were the days when cutlery was made of steel, wine was served in glasses and meals served in china dishes.


If you tell me this is to avoid the use of broken drinking glasses being used as weapons, I will ask you why the wine is still served in bottles?

The fact is; long haul carriers are treating passengers like cattle and now as the bovines begin to bellow the carriers cannot understand why.

To those marketing men in long haul I have the following suggestions:

•       Re instate press travel discounts so that journalists can re kindle the excitement of flying
•       Stop worrying about the price of the ticket.  Everyone knows you cannot fly to Australia for £25 plus airport taxes and charges
•       Reinvent the air hostess who has a smile on her face and kill off those that look like Frankenstein
•       Bring back drinking glasses and steel cutlery and while you are at it the linen table napkin.  If I need to use a weapon I will use my fountain pen
•       Bring back the magazine rack and complimentary newspapers
•       Give us back our legroom and comfortable seats that recline without decapitating the chap behind us

Then they can sit back and watch their airline prosper