Only a fool pays for an upgrade

Everyone knows that there are only two ways you get an upgrade when flying in today's cut throat airlines.

The first is to hold a gold card generally won  by business travellers who never actually pay for the flight themselves anyway

The second way is to buy it by forking out huge sums of extra cash and that can earn the airline a pretty penny

Well it seems that Virgin Atlantic have caught onto that cash cow with great alacrity.

Anyone who has flown west across the Atlantic travelling in the airlines accommodation section is so Badly treated that fearing a repeat crossing Eastbound is conned into buying an upgrade.

Is it worth it?  Well there are bigger seats a so called better service from the same blond bimbo trolley dollies and there is a foot rest but you get precious little else for paying the cost of an apple iPad as an extra charge for two seats

Is it really worth it? Well since the alternative is to throw away the return segment of the Virgin Atlantic ticket and buy a ticket with another carrier I suppose reluctantly I have to say yes

Sitting in the back again is far too ugly an alternative

What ever happened to the brave words of Sir Richard Branson when he launched the then fledgling airline and why have they been forgotten to the point that instead of leading the world Virgin Atlantic now limps around it at the back of the queue

Why do they dim the cabin lights for take off and landing

Why do they dim the cabin lights for take off and landing?  Ask a stewardess and they will tell you it is FAA regulations or some other hogwash, the fact is they have not got a clue

And it turns out no one else really understands why it is done save that it is a throwback form the times when in a small plane it was important for the pilot not to be distracted by cabin lights if and when the door twist cockpit and cabin was opened at night

Fact is the cabin door is now never opened and stays bolted firmly closed to protect the flight crew from the passengers they are paid handsomely to transport around the globe

Another new rule that curtails the rights of the passenger

Flying with Virgin Atlantic recently I heard stewardesses issue yet another rather bizarre rule

Apparently the flight crew are now interpreting the no smoking rule to include the use of electronic smokeless placebo cigarettes that people with low will power can now buy to stave off their craving of the real thing.

These odourless devices which emit only water vapour are now on the banned list for the airline that was going to change the world.

But no one really knows why

Once again the flight crew have now idea why they do it and cannot supply an answer as to why the rule has been imposed.

Like everything else they do on board the blindly following the rules lets hope that we do not have to rely on them in an emergency because they clearly share one brain between the entire cabin crew.

I do not mind abiding with a new rule but am I alone in wanting to know the reason for its implementation?

Good maintainence ensures safer aircraft

Flying with a trans Atlantic carrier recently I was alarmed to see several lights flickering off and on throughout the flight.

One section of the main cabin light came on every ten minutes stayed alight for ten minutes and went out for ten minutes while else where overhead reading lights flicked on and off for no apparent reason.

Flight crew uttered the usual platitudes saying how sorry they were that it was happening but repeating there was nothing they could do.

One said she could not remove the tube because it would be a fire risk, yes she was blond and flew with Virgin Atlantic the other assured me that it was not like that on the flight out and the fault had only just developed

The stupid girl obviously had no clue because of course she had not been on the flight outwards and had she been so there would have been no need to use cabin lights during daylight

It does beg the question that if you cannot perform simple maintainence tasks to the cabin lighting system perhaps the same haphazard attitude is being shown to the engines or the flight navigation equipment.

The girls answer was to give me an eye mask to block out the annoying light.

No doubt had the engines failed she would have given me a parachute

What is it with airports and silly slogans?

Why I wonder do airports have to try so hard so convince you that they are working for good of the passenger when it is so blatantly obvious that they are not.

Just recently having waited on the ground for half an hour before our plane could get a parking slot we then walked a good half mile along a boring glass side corridor to a large stuffy room where we stood in line for twenty minutes waiting to get through passport control.

Then into a baggage retrieval hall where just 4 of the 10 carousels spilled baggage onto the floor and no sign as to where where our own luggage might be found.

Two hours after landing we finally got out of the airport and they say thats making every journey better